Research shows that psychologists from Switzerland have the highest salary in this field. In this country, their average wage is $88,304. However, the recommendations you’ll get from expensive specialists don’t differ from the tips that you can get from those in another country. And if you ask a person who’s just come out of a psychologist’s office what they learned, you’ll probably hear one of the 10 following answers. And it’s not because they just don’t have these problems, these answers are simply suitable for most people. So why should you pay tons of money if you can find the answers you need on your own?
Bright Side is pleased to share some of the most popular pieces of advice you’ll hear in a psychologist’s office. And though these tips work with many clients, there are some situations when an individual approach during a personal consultation is needed.
10. The majority of your problems come from childhood. Just look at your parents.
How did your parents behave? What were their motives? There are so many theories that explain why our problems stem from our childhood. If you figure out and understand why parents did this or that thing, you’ll be able to forgive them and take a huge step toward accepting yourself as you are.
9. Other problems are in your head.
Inner dialogue like, “I should have answered in a different way” or “He did it because…” are absolutely useless. We can’t explain other people’s actions: they grew up in a different atmosphere and had their own experiences that differ from yours. That’s why when you try to understand someone else’s reasons to act in this or that way, you face problems that you create.
8. Speak more about your feelings, don’t assess people.
“I suffer because of what you’ve done to me.”
“What have I done?”
How can we avoid assessing a situation? When you accuse a person of something, they try to protect themselves. And if you express your feelings, you give them a chance to fix the situation, preserving their dignity or the opportunity to explain their opinion.
7. Care more about yourself and care less about people’s assessments.
Comparing yourself to others is a bad and useless habit to have. Like we said before, everyone has their own knowledge and finances, their own physical shape and personal qualities, desires, and achievements. If we are inspired by someone’s ideas, that’s great — we form our own desires and aims. But if we copy a person’s life, we destroy our own life that we’re supposed to enjoy.
6. Escape your comfort zone.
This tip is good for all spheres of life. If you want to find a husband, meet people, change your job, pass more job interviews, find your passion, take up something that’s interesting to you; all you need to do it is leave your comfort zone.
5. Set boundaries and don’t let anyone trespass them.
In most cases, psychologists’ clients try to find resolution in their interactions with other people, like in the mother-in-law that always annoys them, an angry boss, or pesky teenage kids. And the advice given in these types of situations is to set boundaries to 50% of the problems solved. If you endure someone’s bad attitude, nothing will change. But if you protect your boundaries, your opponent will at least start to respect you.
4. Each day, take a small step forward.
A habit forms in 20 days and sets in your mind for 20 days as well. Psychologists know about such workings in our brains and recommend us to always take a step forward. This means if you can’t say, “thank you” to your husband, for example, write down all his good actions every day, and after thanking him for those, you’ll see that he’s not that bad.
3. Think about the experience you gained thanks to this situation.
Each stressful situation means you’ve come out of your comfort zone. It also means that you’ve gained a new experience that will help you to remember it so that you don’t get stuck in the same situation in the future. If you were late for work and didn’t get an annual reward, the direct relation is obvious here. And if you want to build good relationships with people, you have to think about everything so that you understand what should be done and how you can solve issues.
2. Let the situation go.
When you try to change something, don’t overdo it. If you have some family issues and you know what should be changed, change it yourself and don’t make other family members do it for you. You also can change yourself and let the situation go or you can force your family to do what you want and help sustain an unstable atmosphere. The choice is up to you.
1. Don’t be your torturer, be a friend.
You should be ready to admit defeat and accept that you can’t influence everything. Don’t think about things over and over again and don’t consider the time you spend working things out as wasted. If you stop for a while, it means that you recall past experiences and you’re ready to choose the right direction to move in.