There are people who radiate such inexplicable magnetism that absolutely everyone reaches to them. They wish to be like them, to win their friendship or approval. And what’s most curious is that it doesn’t depend at all on these people’s appearance.
SpadesNews found 9 rules we should follow to become this type of person.
You need a unique image. Even more, a totally unique detail. After all, your own original image is the thing that makes even strangers remember you. And we’re not talking about beauty. It sounds weird, but uniqueness can be expressed even in ugliness and vulnerability. Any of your unique features, whether it’s a pace, gesture, facial expression, intonation, style of communication, or an item of clothing can make you memorable.
Here are some examples of famous people’s details with which they’re associated:
Charlie Chaplin — mustache, suit, cane
Tilda Swinton — asexuality, no makeup
Winston Churchill — fattiness, cigars
Joseph Stalin — mustache, pipe, accent
Adolf Hitler — original form of mustache, intonation
Dita Von Teese — the image of the ’40s, red lipstick
Marilyn Monroe — hair color, mole
Salvador Dali — mustache, facial expressions
You need a big dream
To make people reach for you and appreciate you as a really unique personality, you must have a reason for existence. Ambitions, aims, a desire to change something in this world. Struggle for something. Because a person without a dream is a book without an idea. Why would you read it?
To be charismatic, you need to be confident. Courageously make decisions, be able to rely only on yourself, don’t wait for help from the outside, and explain your ideas to others in a way they understand.
People around you can feel your confidence not only in behavior but also in speech. It’s better to avoid such phrases as “I guess, I hope, I suppose, I expect, maybe, probably.”
Forget about complaints
Could you admire and want to be like a person who’s always complaining? Of course not. Charismatic people have a positive mindset. Avoid criticism, complaints, and negative topics. Even if not everything is good in your life, start a conversation that brings you pleasure and will bring the same to your listeners.
Use body gestures
Your behavior should demonstrate your confidence: don’t slouch, don’t fumble with any objects or body parts, try to smile more often, look into your interlocutor’s eyes, and avoid closed postures.
In general, when appearing in public, act and feel like a celebrity on the red carpet.
Become a great storyteller
Many people believe that the ability to make almost every story interesting is a talent.
But it’s not always the case. Mostly it’s a skill that can be learned. Just speak with confidence. Use humor, especially self-irony: the ability to laugh at yourself. Don’t forget about body language, be emotional, and stay positive. Don’t worry if not every one of your stories and jokes “works.”
Tell your personal stories. Having heard something really interesting, people will share it with others.
Don’t look away
When talking to someone, always look into their eyes. Sometimes one piercing look can tell more than a thousand words. Eye contact shows that you’re listening to your interlocutor and that you understand and accept them as a person.
Most importantly, when you’re talking to someone at an event, don’t get distracted by extraneous things. Don’t look at your cell phone or at the crowd as it may appear that you are looking for a more “proper” interlocutor.
Learn to listen to others
There’s no need to consider yourself the world’s most important person. A genuine interest in others’ lives can make people like you more because listening to others is a real art. If you listen to the other person attentively and show interest in your conversation they start feeling needed and even special.
Of course, you cannot remember everything your interlocutor said to you, but remembering their name is a big deal. Here’s an interesting trick. When a person introduces themselves, repeat their name: “Mike, nice to meet you.“ And if you want people to remember you, use the same trick with your name: ”Hello, I’m Susan. Susan Jones.”
Use the mirror effect
The mirror effect, or simply mirroring, is an easy way to make someone like you by repeating their facial expressions, intonations, and gestures. It always works because the method is based on the nature of human narcissism: an interlocutor unwittingly begins to feel that you’re in sync with them.
You can also use this trick to adopt other people’s unique features. For example, some famous people that seem charismatic to you. Look how they present themselves as it can help you feel more confident. You can find a detailed analysis of such examples on the video channel “Charisma on Command.”